The Nanny Diary - Story

I really enjoyed writing this story.  I had been thinking about writing this one for a long time.  Originally, I planned on it being located about five stories before where it is now.  But as I wrote other stories this one kept getting pushed off. Yet, my mind kept thinking about it and reviewing outlines and possibilities.  When I finally wrote it, it was easy.  The story poured out of me like slippery water.  But then I started adding a scene with Xavier and Khua at the end.  I thought this seemed completely wrong -- the part with Xavier and Khua should get picked up somewhere else.  But when I was done, it was obvious that the ending needed to stay.  It brings a depth and strength in direction for the following stories.

Although Bartholomew has been portrayed in a love scene previously (see Bartholomew and a Carload of Trouble or Bartholomew and the Cabana Fire), this is a bit more detailed and lasts a little longer than anything with Geraldine.  Yet, Geraldine seems to make her presence felt whenever Bartholomew is in a romantic situation.  So there is an intercourse of story lines and experiences here in this piece.  I liked playing with this interplay and referencing previous stories.  Kyle the pool boy even makes a cameo.  So, with no further adieu, here is an excerpt from The Nanny Diary that will be published on Friday, April 26, 2013.

The Nanny opened the door. “Hi Bartholomew! Come on in."

Bartholomew walked into a house that seemed to be very old with dark wooden beams, plaster walls, antique furniture and handmade rugs. This surprised him since he knew the house was less than a year old.

“Do you like my stuff?” asked The Nanny. “I have collected it over the years and take it with me whenever I get a new job.”

“Haven't you been a nanny for Gerald's kids for six or seven years?” asked Bartholomew.

“Six years, eight months.”

“You're not that old. What other nanny gigs have you had?”

“Oh, a few more. But let's not talk about that. Guess what I made for dinner?” Not waiting for Bartholomew to answer she said, “Corn on the cob, green beans, marinated lamb and kale chips.”

“Kale chips?” asked Bartholomew.

“Yes, it’s a new recipe I learned. I think you’ll like them.”

Bartholomew and The Nanny had a perfectly wonderful meal full of good food and good conversation. For dessert, a wild berry torte with real whipped cream, The Nanny put on some coffee and suggested they retire to the living room.

They escorted each other and their desserts to a big comfortable upholstered couch with maple legs. The coffee table was also made of maple and held magazines, a few chotzkes and a condiment dish full of chocolates.

“Oh, this light is too bright. We need candles. Bartholomew, could you grab me the matches on the windowsill behind you?”

At this, Bartholomew became a bit nervous. “Do we need candles?” Memories swirled in his head again. This time it was of Geraldine asking him to retrieve some matches from a windowsill in the cabana. It was one of those matches that started the cabana on fire.

“Don't be silly. I promise you, you will be happier with candles,” said The Nanny.

Bartholomew found the matches and handed them to her. She lit five candles and placed them on tables around the couch. They turned their attention to the very tasty tortes and conversed while eating.

“So, how are your garden plans coming?” asked The Nanny as she ate her last bite.

“Oh, very well. Topping, Charlotte, Ned and Claire are all going to garden with me and so are Uncle Jeffrey and Aunt Josephine. I am very excited.”

Putting her plate on the coffee table and then moving closer to Bartholomew, The Nanny said, “That's great. Is there room for one more?”

“Absolutely,” said Bartholomew as he put down his plate and moved closer to The Nanny. At the same time, they both moved to kiss each other. As they pulled their faces away they stared into each other's eyes. Bartholomew put his arm around The Nanny and they kissed again. This time they kissed much longer. They kissed several more times – each kiss becoming longer and more passionate. Bartholomew wanted to put his hand on The Nanny's breast but wanted to be polite and wait for a signal from her. Instead, he cradled her head in his hand and then began to stroke her hair while they kissed.

“Ohhh,” said The Nanny, “that feels so good. Keep stroking my hair and patting my head. Oh, that drives me crazy!”

Bartholomew didn't mind stroking her hair, but he felt a little funny when he patted her head. But The Nanny's groans indicated that, as silly as Bartholomew felt, he was on the right track. The Nanny unexpectedly pushed Bartholomew backward on to the couch. His leg kicked out and knocked over something on the coffee table. Bartholomew went rigid. He could see a candle rolling to the edge of the table, wax spilling on a magazine. The candle fell aflame onto a handmade floor rug. He was about to yell out, “NO, STOP, GERALDINE! THERE'S A FIRE!” but the candle landed on its tip and went out immediately.

“Are you okay?” asked The Nanny.

Bartholomew took one more glance at the candle and saw that it was indeed out. All of his muscles relaxed and he smiled. He was not with Geraldine. Things were not necessarily going to be a disaster. “Yeah, I'm great,” he said and kissed her again with renewed passion.

#17 The Nanny is Too Literal

            One day Bartholomew was downtown shopping at his favorite t-shirt store. Across the store, he saw The Nanny and Geraldine.  He wanted to hide from Geraldine, but he wanted to talk with The Nanny.  He wasn’t sure what to do, but then The Nanny waved at him and both she and Geraldine walked over to where he was standing.  Geraldine lagged behind The Nanny.

            “Hey, Bartholomew,” said The Nanny happily.

            “Hey, The Nanny.  Hi Geraldine,” said Bartholomew being polite.

            Geraldine said nothing.

            The Nanny was wearing a black bodice with lace sleeves and silver metallic jeans with lips to match.  Her hair was pulled up in a bun and, as always, she had heavy black mascara around her eyes.  Bartholomew could see the chain of her large cross necklace around her neck.  Geraldine was wearing a plain, white, low-cut v-neck t-shirt that was about two sizes too small.  It was obvious she was not wearing a bra.

            Geraldine noticed Bartholomew noticing her chest.

            “Hi, Bartholomew,” she said perking up.  “I’ve missed you.  What you been up to?”

            “Uh…not much.  Just hanging out with some friends and stuff.”

            Geraldine put her arms behind her back and began swaying her chest back and forth like a hypnotist’s watch.

            “Maybe we could hang out again sometime?”

            “Yeah, uhm… maybe,” said Bartholomew forgetting that Geraldine doesn’t understand when people are just being polite.  “What are you guys shopping for?” he changed the subject.

            “We’re looking for some new spring clothes; shoes, new pants and a few t-shirts,” said The Nanny.

            “Yeah, and maybe some underwear,” added Geraldine.  “Want to shop with us?”

            “You know, Geraldine, perhaps Bartholomew has his own shopping to do.  You don’t need to have a guy help you with everything.  Remember, this is supposed to be some shopping time for me and you – girl time.”

            “That’s okay,” said Bartholomew, “I don’t really shop in the woman’s department.  I think I’ll be over here shopping for my stuff.”

by Raighne Hogan

            “Okay, maybe we can meet up at the food court or the bathrooms later,” encouraged Geraldine.  The Nanny rolled her eyes and then grabbed Geraldine by the shoulders.

            “All right, Geraldine, let’s head over to the women’s department.  It was nice seeing you, Bartholomew.  Good luck with your shopping.”

            “Good bye,” said Bartholomew.

            “See ya later,” said Geraldine as she flashed a toothy smile.

            Bartholomew went about his shopping.  He looked at cargo pants, shorts some sandals and t-shirts - lots of t-shirts.

            He turned to look at a rack behind him and bumped into The Nanny.

            “Hi.”

            “Huh? Sorry,” Bartholomew apologized for bumping into her.

“I’m really sorry about Geraldine being so pushy with you.”

“That’s okay,” said Bartholomew, “I kinda expect it from her.”

           

            The Nanny laughed.

           

            “I know that you and Geraldine dated for awhile last year.  I’m sure that the story I got isn’t accurate as to what happened.  But I want you to know that I’m working with Geraldine to help her see that she shouldn’t be so… needy.”
           

            Bartholomew laughed.  “Good luck!”

            “I have tried just about everything I can think of that is legal.  I just hope you don’t think too poorly of her.  She really is a nice girl, its just she needs some help to stay focused.  As I said, I’m sure what Geraldine told me wasn’t all true, but I can tell that she didn’t lie when she said you were the guy who has treated her the nicest.  That’s not saying much, considering most of the guys she’s been with, but I can tell that you are very kind to your girlfriends.”

            Bartholomew blushed, “Geraldine’s okay in my book.  We’re just two very different people and we don’t want the same thing.”  He paused.  “What I mean is, well, I mean maybe I do want what she wants, just not, you know, not

like she wants it.”

            The Nanny cocked her head and her brow creased slightly between her eyes.

            “I mean I would want it with…someone...who is…else.  I mean, it would be fine with someone else. But Geraldine isn’t the…maybe there is someone else - someone nicer, someone prettier.  Not that looks are all I’m about, I just mean…”  Bartholomew took a deep breath. “Where’s Geraldine?”

            “She took about twenty items into the dressing room.  She’ll be in there for about forty-five minutes.  Lord only knows what she does when she’s in a dressing room.  She takes for-eeeeeee-ver.”  

by Raighne Hogan

            Bartholomew looked over The Nanny’s shoulder and spied Geraldine talking to a young man who works at the store.  Together, they disappeared into the changing room area.

            “She just doesn’t stop, does she?” said Bartholomew.

            “She doesn’t stop what?  Changing?”

            “Uh, yeah, changing.  That must be why she takes so long in the dressing room,” answered Bartholomew.

            The Nanny stared blankly at him.

            “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about Geraldine anymore,” said The Nanny as she looked over her shoulder to check on her.  She turned back to Bartholomew.

“I would like to get together with you every so often.  Just check-in, talk, hangout.  Would that be okay with you?” asked The Nanny.

“Uh, yeah, that would be fine by me,” answered Bartholomew excited that The Nanny was interested in him.

“Great!  Would you be free this Thursday after I’m done with work?”

“Sure, I’m uh, sure that would be fine.”

“Let’s meet at McGliffkey’s,” said the Nanny.  “I’ll see you there at nine o’clock.”

“Okay,” said Bartholomew.

“And I won’t bring Geraldine,” laughed The Nanny.

“Good,” said Bartholomew with a big smile, “cuz that would be like trying to have a conversation while a dog is humping your leg.”  He immediately felt bad about comparing Geraldine to a dog and blushed because he was sure The Nanny would think he was a jerk for saying this.

“What did you say?” asked The Nanny.

Good.  She didn’t hear.

“Like a dog humping your leg?” she continued. 

Oh no! She did hear.

Bartholomew buried his face in a pile of t-shirts he was holding.  A dog humping your leg - what a stupid thing to say. 

“That gives me an idea,” The Nanny said to herself as she turned and walked away.

Bartholomew uncovered his face to apologize, or at least add something on a positive note, but when he looked up, The Nanny was nowhere in sight.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Bartholomew and a Carload of Trouble - Story

     Bartholomew and Geraldine were driving down the road in Bartholomew’s car, a 1974 Peugeot, white with pink side panels and chrome trim. The car had been his father’s who kept it in the garage and only drove it on special occasions. They were heading to the Mountains of the Great Divide for a picnic lunch on the hottest day of the summer. Geraldine had suggested the outing as a way for Bartholomew to make up for burning down her father’s cabana. She also insisted on Bartholomew’s father’s Peugeot, as she thought it looked European, which it was.

     “Oh Bartholomew,” gushed Geraldine, “You are so romantic taking me to the mountains for a picnic. Did you bring the food I asked for?”

     “Uh, not all of it,” said Bartholomew. “I brought sunflower butter and beet sandwiches on oat croissants, corn, some kale and a dessert. Oh, and some apple-carrot juice. Of course, it is all organic.”

     “I didn’t ask for any of that disgusting food. Didn’t you bring the pickled pig’s feet, Donkey Double Cheeseburgers, chips and bubblegum ice cream? Didn’t you bring any of that?”

      “No,” said Bartholomew, twitching in his seat a bit. “I guess I didn’t understand.” But he did understand. Bartholomew didn’t like the food Geraldine requested so he brought the food he liked. He was beginning to think that he and Geraldine had many obstacles to becoming a couple. After all, they didn’t like the same food or movies and Geraldine didn’t like to read. Also, Oliver, Bartholomew’s cat, didn’t like Geraldine and Gerald, Geraldine’s father, didn’t seem to like Bartholomew, even though he often said quite the opposite.

     “Bartholomew, you look just like a race car driver behind the wheel of this car. It’s like you’re Jimmy Stewart or Cam Gordon or some racing guy like that,” said Geraldine.

      Bartholomew smiled and enjoyed the feeling of driving the twisting and turning mountain roads, the sun above, the cool wind on his sweaty skin and a girl by his side-- someone who thinks he’s something special.

Bartholomew and a Carload of Trouble has Bartholomew and Geraldine going on a picnic. This is the last of three "date" stories for Bartholomew and Geraldine. There are similarities in all three stories: there is passion, there is fire and there is confusion. In each, Bartholomew is left with a decision to make about Geraldine and their compatibility. In a relationship, this can sometimes be a very hard decision to make. Some girl or boyfriends are great fun, and they have a special quality or two. But at the same time they might have a perspective on life that will never mesh with yours. Or, they may have some difficult behaviors, or stupid friends or cold families, or... But of course, the question always comes down to "can you be yourself within the relationship without any reservations, and with that accomplished, does the relationship actually help you grow into a more loving and giving self?"

Bartholomew has a hard time being himself in the relationship and being honest about his doubts. What do you do with someone like Geraldine? Bartholomew doesn't know until he is forced to express himself and his true feelings.

Bartholomew and a Carload of Trouble will be published on December 7, 2012 at bookofbartholomew.blogspot.com.
To read the other "date stories" of Bartholomew and Geraldine, read:
Geraldine,
Bartholomew and Geraldine
Bartholomew and the Cabana Fire

Geraldine - Art Work

  

The next story in The Book of Bartholomew, to be published on October 19, is Geraldine. This is the cover image for the short story, painted by myself, Mark Granlund. Yes, this is a painting of a frog being boiled in water. There is an old idea that a frog, because it is cold-blooded and its body temperature is dependent on the temperature around them, could slowly be brought to a boil and cooked without recognizing it.  That is what this painting represents - something terrible happening to someone without their knowledge.

I have painted and drawn frogs over the years so it was fun to revisit this motif.  The boiling water was different.  I have never depicted boiling water and set to watching a pot of water boil.  Funny, time seemed to move slowly, as if it  would never get there.

Here is a drawing of a leopard frog that is included inside the story.  In the cover illustration, the frog represents an unaware character.  This drawing represents a hideous character.  In the printed version, the reverse image is also included.

I hope you enjoy this next story, the music and the illustration.

Geraldine - Story

           “You really are nice looking. I mean you are attractive, but you also look like someone who is nice to people,” said Geraldine.

             Bartholomew blushed a little. He was not used to young women telling him he was attractive. But he had to agree that he was kind to people. It was one of Bartholomew’s strengths that he always tried to be polite and kind.

“Thank you,” he said, “you are so kind to say so.”

“Well,” responded Geraldine, “I am as kind as I am pretty.” 

Gather round for the introduction of Geraldine, soon to be Bartholomew's girlfriend.  Is she delovely?  Is she delightlful?  Is she de-devil?  Some people will find Geraldine repulsive.  Some will find her rude.  Some will find her to be an animal.  Bartholomew sees the good in her.  Geraldine is the daughter of Gerald, so right there you know things will not be normal.

I have greatly enjoyed writing about Geraldine.  She is an unlovely character who has major issues around relationships.  But there is a side of her that appeals to Bartholomew.  I have taken to the challenge of writing sympathetically about a rude and unattractive individual. My first notes about Geraldine were that she is incontinent, in the old sense.  She is unable to control her body and its functions.  Her body is unattractive and unkempt.  Her physical desires are out of control.  As far as I know, she is not incontinent in the contemporary sense of the word.  There is also an aspect of her incontinence that I do not write about, but secretly informs my writing about her.  As her story unfolds over the next 45 stories, I hope you come to understand who she is and why she is - and see her in a sympathetic light - like Bartholomew.  But I must say that I see each character in these stories as a different aspect of my own personality.  Geraldine is the one aspect of my personality I am least likely to confess publicly.

During the course of a long term relationship, partners come to see aspects of each other that they love and admire.  But, they also see behaviors and attitudes that are not as lovely, not as welcomed.  What is the balance?  Bartholomew is very unpracticed at making these kinds of decisions.  What happens when the negatives start to outweigh the positives?  What happens when one BIG negative outweighs many positives?  Bartholomew does not know his "deal-breakers," do you?

High school and college relationships are one thing.  Once you are both out on your own, not under the surveillance of an authority, what you really need in a partner changes.  In fact, it is then when you really start to understand what it is you need on an independent personal level.  Because of some tragic events in his life, Bartholomew is a little behind others in this arena.  Perhaps I was, too, at his age.

Geraldine, will be published this Friday, at The Book of Bartholomew.