It doesn't seem to change over the years. My experience of dating in my forties proves to me that the awkwardness is just par for the course. If there are no red flags right away, such a first date starting to cry when you walk through the coffee shop door or a date who starts talking bitterly about her ex within the first five minutes of conversation, there is always the question of when the other shoe is going to drop. I once had a whole conversation with someone who thought I was talking about a friend when I was talking about my dog. The mistake came to light as I described how she leaped into a garden, over a row of beans, and grabbed a groundhog in her mouth. Needless to say we weren't on the same page - in many ways. Incompatibility is the last thing you want, so it is the first thing you are looking for.
Here is an excerpt from the upcoming Coffee with an Angel, to be published on Friday, March 29, 2013 at The Book of Bartholomew.
At the sight of Bartholomew, a smile spread across The Nanny’s face. She stood up and welcomed Bartholomew with a hug – a BIG, looong hug. He barely noticed her cross necklace imbedding into his chest.
“I am so happy you could make it,” said The Nanny as she sat back down.Bartholomew sat down across the small round table from her. “Yeah, happy to be here. I'm glad you could finally fit me into your schedule.”“I'm so sorry about that,” she said with a sympathetic look in her eyes. “Things have been much busier than I could handle.”“Dog-sitting?” asked Bartholomew with a bit of sarcasm in his voice.“Yes! Oh it has been amazingly more work than I ever imagined,” said The Nanny with such enthusiasm in her voice and eyes that Bartholomew's sarcasm faded. “But I think I have finally figured it out. I know what should happen now.”Bartholomew didn't understand what she meant but moved on to the subject he wanted to discuss with her. “What happened to Geraldine? Why didn't you tell me she was missing?”“Yes, she is missing. Oh… does that bother you?”“Does it bother me? Does it bother me?! Yes, it bothers me! Geraldine was a nice girl. All right, she was crazy, sex-starved and would take advantage of every situation, but there was a nice side to her, too.”The Nanny smiled-- seemed pleased about something.“Geraldine is missing! Why are you so happy?!” Bartholomew almost yelled.The Nanny said nothing but stared at Bartholomew with such sparkling eyes and such beautiful skin and such full-bodied hair and such positive energy and... Her presence was disarming, as if her whole soul was there to do nothing but love and support someone. Bartholomew couldn't help but think how different she was when he had met her at Gerald's house. Her black Goth clothes and dark eyeliner were gone. More importantly, he sensed that her attitude was completely different. Before she seemed to be waiting. The Nanny previously was disciplining and corralling Gerald's sons and daughter, as if keeping them in line until something else happens. But now, The Nanny was purposeful. She seemed focused, honed-in and ready to do whatever it was she was meant to do after a long delay. This made her very happy, full of life and much larger than Bartholomew's anger or cynicism.