The Nanny is Too Literal - The Story

The Nanny is Too Literal is a pivotal story in The Book of Bartholomew.  It is a simple and rather short story in which it doesn't seem like much happens.  Bartholomew meets The Nanny and Geraldine while shopping, there is a short conversation, they part, then The Nanny talks some more with Bartholomew and the story ends.  But near the end of the story, Bartholomew lets some words slip.  It is innocent enough, although Bartholomew hopes The Nanny didn't hear this derogatory comment about Geraldine.  Words, like a contagion, can form an idea that goes far beyond what was originally intended.   And here, Bartholomew might have begun something that may one day lead to bitterness and resentment or to blissful happiness.

One day Bartholomew was downtown shopping at his favorite t-shirt store. Across the store, he saw The Nanny and Geraldine. He wanted to hide from Geraldine, but he wanted to talk with The Nanny. He wasn’t sure what to do, but then The Nanny waved at him and both she and Geraldine walked over to where he was standing. Geraldine lagged behind The Nanny.

“Hey, Bartholomew,” said The Nanny happily.

“Hey, The Nanny. Hi Geraldine,” said Bartholomew being polite.

Geraldine said nothing.

The Nanny was wearing a black bodice with lace sleeves and silver metallic jeans with lips to match. Her hair was pulled up in a bun and, as always, she had heavy black mascara around her eyes. Bartholomew could see the chain of her large cross necklace around her neck. Geraldine was wearing a plain, white, low-cut v-neck t-shirt that was about two sizes too small. It was obvious she was not wearing a bra.

Geraldine noticed Bartholomew noticing her chest.

“Hi, Bartholomew,” she said perking up. “I’ve missed you. What you been up to?”

“Uh…not much. Just hanging out with some friends and stuff.”

Geraldine put her arms behind her back and began swaying her chest back and forth like a hypnotist’s watch.

“Maybe we could hang out again sometime?”

“Yeah, uhm… maybe,” said Bartholomew forgetting that Geraldine doesn’t understand when people are just being polite. “What are you guys shopping for?” he changed the subject.

“We’re looking for some new spring clothes; shoes, new pants and a few t-shirts,” said The Nanny.

“Yeah, and maybe some underwear,” added Geraldine. “Want to shop with us?”

“You know, Geraldine, perhaps Bartholomew has his own shopping to do. You don’t need to have a guy help you with everything. Remember, this is supposed to be some shopping time for me and you – girl time.”

“That’s okay,” said Bartholomew, “I don’t really shop in the woman’s department. I think I’ll be over here shopping for my stuff.”

“Okay, maybe we can meet up at the food court or the bathrooms later,” encouraged Geraldine. The Nanny rolled her eyes and then grabbed Geraldine by the shoulders.

“All right, Geraldine, let’s head over to the women’s department. It was nice seeing you, Bartholomew. Good luck with your shopping.”

“Good bye,” said Bartholomew.

“See ya later,” said Geraldine as she flashed a toothy smile.

The Nanny is Too Literal will be published in The Book of Bartholomew on March 8, 2013.